Growing up, television was never a large part of my life. Even when we had a television, we rarely had cable. We had three channels: PBS, Local News (WMUR) and a random channel (21) that had older shows and, at one point, changed and became PAX TV (shows with more of a Christian theme). The only time in my young life I remember having cable TV was when on of Dad's brothers came to live with us while he was going through a divorce. I'm assuming he was used to having cable and paid for it. Needless to say, we didn't watch much while he was there because he was paying for it. After he left, though, there was some time before it went away. Because of that, I have a very small window of '90s cartoons/TV show knowledge.
At some point in my early teens, Mom & Dad got cable again. Well, we got cable Internet and Dad figured out that you could plug the cable into the TV and it gave you basic cable. Probably borderline illegal, but we figured if it was, they'd find a way to stop you from being able to do that. That said, we had cable again! I liked TV, but it never really did much for me. I had a few shows that I was addicted to. Matlock was my main obsession (yes, Matlock). I'm sure I watched TV more than I remember, but it wasn't worth fighting my other 4 siblings over what to watch. I'd much rather fight over using the computer.
All this to say, about the time I was in high school, I helped convince my parents to get rid of the TV. Partially because it was a distraction to me and I didn't see the point in keeping it around. Mostly because every time I started climbing the stairs up to the TV room, Josiah would rush to change the channel. In my overly-nosy way couldn't tell if it was because he was watching something he wasn't supposed to (something too old for him) or something he was embarrassed to be caught watching (like Barney). Either way, I told Mom we should get rid of the TV and lo and behold, it disappeared soon after. I went the rest of high school blissfully free of television.
Once I got to college, it was a whole different story. I was lonely at college. I'd gone from a house where there was constant noise and talking to...well, a dorm room where I was often alone. I missed my family and I missed feeling connected. I started to watch TV a lot in order to avoid feeling lonely. Oddly enough, it made me feel connected to the outside world. By my junior year in college, I had my own room and stayed up late watching TV a lot because I didn't want to turn it off and feel alone. I've never been able to fall asleep with the TV on like some people can, so I'd just stay half-awake...in a stupor, not wanting to turn it off, but desperately wanting to sleep.
After I got married, the need to constantly have the TV on dwindled a lot. We liked (and still like) to watch shows and movies together, but I didn't feel the need to have it on at all hours because I didn't feel lonely. Once I started to stay home with the kids, however, that changed a little. At first, I was careful to only use the TV when I needed it. Having a TV to plop The Boy in front of when The Girl was first born was a life saver for me. It was also nice because there were actual people using actual words on the screen, so it made me feel less alone. However, he got used to watching it more and more and then full out became addicted to it. Curious George, Blues Clues, Beauty & the Beast, The Lion King...the list could go on and on with TV shows and movies that could fill an entire day. He'd beg and plead to watch them and I'd cave because I was overwhelmed and could use the break. When I didn't cave, a full on tantrum came. Every. Single. Time. Crying, pleading, yelling, rolling on the ground. The works.
More recently, I started trying to cut back on The Boy's TV time because it was getting to be too much. The first words out of his mouth every morning became "TD?" (he can't quite say 'v' yet..) and then there was the inevitable tantrum when The Husband or I said no. I hated that our days started out on a bad note because of TV. I hated that, even when I caved and let him watch a show, he threw a tantrum when it was over and I wouldn't let him watch anymore and then again an hour later when he asked to watch TV. It was a constant throughout the day. "TD?" "TD?" "TD?"
Sigh.
Finally, I realized that as long as the television was in sight and I was unable to take away the option of watching TV, The Boy was going to incessantly beg for it. I talked this over with The Husband and asked if he was okay with me moving it to our bedroom. This was the only option as a place to move it where a door could conceal it since we live in a small 2 bedroom apartment and we obviously couldn't move the TV to the kids' room.
Moving the TV to our bedroom presented a few issues. First of all, our bedroom is already pretty crowded. It not only houses our bed and dresser, but anything we want to be able to close the door on but get to easily...including my treadmill and The Husband's keyboard & music stand. Also, The Girl naps in a pack n play in our room during her afternoon nap because The Boy naps in their room at the same time (they don't nap well in the same room), so there's a pack n play set up at all times. Other than the practical "where would we put the TV?!" other, more selfish issues arose. Because The Girl naps in our room, I wouldn't be able to have my afternoon relax-and-catch-up-on-some-shows time during the kids' nap. Unless I wanted to watch them on the computer. Also, I go to bed much earlier than The Husband does, so he'd have to give up his night-time video gaming on the nights I hit they hay early.
After weighing the pros and cons with The Husband, I decided I would give it a go. I had the brilliant idea of moving The Husband's keyboard out of our room and setting it up in the place where the TV had been. While I was moving things around, The Boy was a bit distraught. When I put the keyboard where the TV had been, he was downright angry. Once I turned the keyboard on, he jumped up on the chair and joyfully played piano for hours with no mention of TV at all! Once he had his fill of the piano, he got down and started playing with the toys he had ignored for the most part in the past. It was a complete 180 and I am still amazed how fast he transformed.
I moved the TV two days ago. The Boy still asks for 'TD' and 'Blue' (Blues Clues is his current obsession) a few times a day, but he's generally okay once I say no. No more crazy tantrums...just little bouts of self-pity and then it's over and he's off playing with his toys, bringing a book over for me to read to him or playing on the keyboard. Not only have I noticed he's being more creative and in an overall better mood with the TV out of sight, I find that I am, too. I don't have the crutch of just turning the TV on when I need a few minutes of calm anymore. I'm more inclined to play with the kids and interact with them now that the TV isn't as readily accessible. I'm also in a much better mood all day because I'm not constantly telling my child 'no TV' and then dealing with the aftermath.
I'm not one to say that TV is evil or that you shouldn't ever let children watch TV. I'm fine with it in moderation. I even let The Boy watch an episode of Blues Clues today while I cut his fingernails (the kid seriously can't sit still while I do that unless he's watching TV!), but once it was over, I was able to turn the TV off, shoo him and The Girl out of the room and close the door. No fuss, no meltdown. Life went on.
Moving the TV out of the living-room is one of the better decisions I've made as a mother. I only wonder why I didn't think of it sooner.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
The Elusion of Sleep
Well, I suppose I should write a post seeing as I didn't last week. Call it writer's block, apathy, exhaustion or just being a mom, but every time I sit down to write, there's just...nothing.
I have been extremely tired lately. Madeleine is teething and James is well, a two-year-old. Add that to my sudden inability to fall asleep before 11 pm despite going to bed early and the fact that I'm still trying to balance my 'new' healthy diet - it just makes for one very tired Sarah. When I'm tired, I get irritable. Needless to say, I've been a ray of sunshine lately! It's all I can do to keep a forward momentum during the day. Coffee is my friend. Iron is not. In that I can't seem to digest enough of it.
I now understand how my mom could fall asleep mid-sentence while reading to us as children. We used to absolutely hate it. The three of us (before Sam & Josiah came along, obviously) would crowd around Mom as she led the way into a fantasy land through magical act of reading and then, always during the most exciting scene, she'd fall asleep! One of us would shake her awake and say, "What happened next?!" and she'd rouse herself awake enough to read about another paragraph before dropping off again. Then the next child would shake her awake and so on and so forth. After a little while, we decided it would be best if Jesse just learned to read and took over for her.
Unlike my mother, I don't actually fall asleep. I just really, really, really want to. I seem to have the opposite problem. I'm so tired that I can't sleep. Not even at night when I force myself to go to bed early. I just lay there and...can't sleep.
I'm sure that this too shall pass.
I won't always have little ones and I am trying my hardest to enjoy every moment I have with them despite my exhaustion. Yesterday, we played with 'goo' made from cornstarch and water. James wasn't too sure about it. He didn't like the way it felt on his hands, but he had a blast finding things to stick in it (and then loved trying to un-stick them!). Madeleine thought it was delicious. I can't imagine that it tasted all that scrumptious, but she seemed to think differently.
We've been exploring outside every chance we get and I love watching James and Madeleine starting to play together. Not only is it adorable, but it gives me a chance to relax for a second and not have to be 'on' all the time! And we read. Oh, how we read! Both of my children absolutely love books. They love it when Mommy and Daddy read to them and they love 'reading' to themselves.
Speaking of, I'm going to go read to my children now - and do my best not to fall asleep!
I have been extremely tired lately. Madeleine is teething and James is well, a two-year-old. Add that to my sudden inability to fall asleep before 11 pm despite going to bed early and the fact that I'm still trying to balance my 'new' healthy diet - it just makes for one very tired Sarah. When I'm tired, I get irritable. Needless to say, I've been a ray of sunshine lately! It's all I can do to keep a forward momentum during the day. Coffee is my friend. Iron is not. In that I can't seem to digest enough of it.
I now understand how my mom could fall asleep mid-sentence while reading to us as children. We used to absolutely hate it. The three of us (before Sam & Josiah came along, obviously) would crowd around Mom as she led the way into a fantasy land through magical act of reading and then, always during the most exciting scene, she'd fall asleep! One of us would shake her awake and say, "What happened next?!" and she'd rouse herself awake enough to read about another paragraph before dropping off again. Then the next child would shake her awake and so on and so forth. After a little while, we decided it would be best if Jesse just learned to read and took over for her.
Unlike my mother, I don't actually fall asleep. I just really, really, really want to. I seem to have the opposite problem. I'm so tired that I can't sleep. Not even at night when I force myself to go to bed early. I just lay there and...can't sleep.
I'm sure that this too shall pass.
I won't always have little ones and I am trying my hardest to enjoy every moment I have with them despite my exhaustion. Yesterday, we played with 'goo' made from cornstarch and water. James wasn't too sure about it. He didn't like the way it felt on his hands, but he had a blast finding things to stick in it (and then loved trying to un-stick them!). Madeleine thought it was delicious. I can't imagine that it tasted all that scrumptious, but she seemed to think differently.
We've been exploring outside every chance we get and I love watching James and Madeleine starting to play together. Not only is it adorable, but it gives me a chance to relax for a second and not have to be 'on' all the time! And we read. Oh, how we read! Both of my children absolutely love books. They love it when Mommy and Daddy read to them and they love 'reading' to themselves.
Speaking of, I'm going to go read to my children now - and do my best not to fall asleep!
Friday, June 1, 2012
Biology of a Dream
The Husband had vacation last week - thus the lack of a post from me. We didn’t stay anywhere for the week, but had a really good time at home with a couple of day trips thrown in there. It just so happened that both trips we took were to ocean-themed places: the New England Aquarium and Ordiorne Point/Seacoast Science Center. Both the Boy and the Girl absolutely LOVED our trips - especially the sea creatures. Even at ten months, the Girl was enthralled with the fish as big as her swimming by and she couldn’t get enough of the penguins. The Boy loved the fish as well - but was most obsessed with the sea turtles. Both the Husband and I loved watching our children revel in this new world they had discovered.
This got me thinking: I absolutely love the ocean and the creatures that live in it. There was a time in my life that I really wanted to be a dolphin trainer. I think it was my first real ‘what I want to be when I grow up’ dream. You know, the first one after ‘president’ or ‘astronaut’.
So, yes. I wanted to train dolphins at Sea World when I was a teenager. I was smart enough to know that you don’t just go to ‘dolphin training’ school and assumed that meant I’d have to go to school for marine biology. Before I got to college, however, I realized the chances of me actually training dolphins at Sea World were slim to none. After that, all I could envision for my life with a degree in marine biology was field research - spending weeks on a boat and then coming home and begging corporations/businesses/government for sponsorship. I’m not sure why I didn’t think that there might be an in-between type job, but either way that sounded terrifying to me, so I gave up my dream for one a little more practical.
Music.
Those who know me know how well that turned out!
I got so caught up in my failure at pursuing music that I never really gave marine biology a thought when it all came crashing down. Well, that’s being gracious. It’s hard for something that never got off the ground to ‘come crashing down’.
Suffice it to say, I didn’t go back to my old dream. It honestly never occurred to me. I enrolled into college undeclared. I went to my first Gen Ed class - World History - and was so taken by the professor’s enthusiasm for the subject and amazed at how it was presented (you mean our assignment is to read people’s journals?! Awesome!) and the rest is, well, history.
I love history.
I majored in history.
I would never consider myself a history buff. Or geek. Or nerd.
I love being able to see how people thought. What drove them to make the decisions they did. How it affected those around them and the world at large. I have never been, nor do I ever expect to be one of those people that can discuss the finer points of the Battle of Gettysburg or tell you the exact (and, sadly, general) date something significant occured. I’m sure I knew it at one point. I’m sure I even got it right on a test in school. I just don’t have the memory for it. I can barely remember what date semi-significant events happened in my own life, much less those not pertaining to me.
Throughout college, I found myself awed and slightly jealous of my classmates who were history buffs and seemingly knew everything about whatever subject the professors were talking about. I knew the basics. Probably less. I avoided history throughout middle and high school, ironically. I didn’t like the writing, so I avoided it like the plague. In college, I knew what I had read for that class or was researching for my paper and that was about it. It seemed like all the other History Majors spent all their free time soaking up as much history as they could. They’d talk about the documentary they’d seen or history book they’d read. To be completely honest, the only documentary I will seek out to watch are ones about the ocean or sea life. I’ll watch others if they’re on or someone else is already watching one, but they just don’t interest me enough.
All that to say, going to the aquarium and Ordiorne Point this past week got me thinking. I love the ocean. Although I glad I went the History route in college and would never give up that experience and friendships I made along the way, there is a part of me that is sad I didn’t give marine biology a chance. There is a little part of me that still would like to test it out and see how it fits.
Maybe that’s what I’ll do when the kids grow up.
This got me thinking: I absolutely love the ocean and the creatures that live in it. There was a time in my life that I really wanted to be a dolphin trainer. I think it was my first real ‘what I want to be when I grow up’ dream. You know, the first one after ‘president’ or ‘astronaut’.
So, yes. I wanted to train dolphins at Sea World when I was a teenager. I was smart enough to know that you don’t just go to ‘dolphin training’ school and assumed that meant I’d have to go to school for marine biology. Before I got to college, however, I realized the chances of me actually training dolphins at Sea World were slim to none. After that, all I could envision for my life with a degree in marine biology was field research - spending weeks on a boat and then coming home and begging corporations/businesses/government for sponsorship. I’m not sure why I didn’t think that there might be an in-between type job, but either way that sounded terrifying to me, so I gave up my dream for one a little more practical.
Music.
Those who know me know how well that turned out!
I got so caught up in my failure at pursuing music that I never really gave marine biology a thought when it all came crashing down. Well, that’s being gracious. It’s hard for something that never got off the ground to ‘come crashing down’.
Suffice it to say, I didn’t go back to my old dream. It honestly never occurred to me. I enrolled into college undeclared. I went to my first Gen Ed class - World History - and was so taken by the professor’s enthusiasm for the subject and amazed at how it was presented (you mean our assignment is to read people’s journals?! Awesome!) and the rest is, well, history.
I love history.
I majored in history.
I would never consider myself a history buff. Or geek. Or nerd.
I love being able to see how people thought. What drove them to make the decisions they did. How it affected those around them and the world at large. I have never been, nor do I ever expect to be one of those people that can discuss the finer points of the Battle of Gettysburg or tell you the exact (and, sadly, general) date something significant occured. I’m sure I knew it at one point. I’m sure I even got it right on a test in school. I just don’t have the memory for it. I can barely remember what date semi-significant events happened in my own life, much less those not pertaining to me.
Throughout college, I found myself awed and slightly jealous of my classmates who were history buffs and seemingly knew everything about whatever subject the professors were talking about. I knew the basics. Probably less. I avoided history throughout middle and high school, ironically. I didn’t like the writing, so I avoided it like the plague. In college, I knew what I had read for that class or was researching for my paper and that was about it. It seemed like all the other History Majors spent all their free time soaking up as much history as they could. They’d talk about the documentary they’d seen or history book they’d read. To be completely honest, the only documentary I will seek out to watch are ones about the ocean or sea life. I’ll watch others if they’re on or someone else is already watching one, but they just don’t interest me enough.
All that to say, going to the aquarium and Ordiorne Point this past week got me thinking. I love the ocean. Although I glad I went the History route in college and would never give up that experience and friendships I made along the way, there is a part of me that is sad I didn’t give marine biology a chance. There is a little part of me that still would like to test it out and see how it fits.
Maybe that’s what I’ll do when the kids grow up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)