It hit me recently that my opinion doesn't matter. I'm not saying 'ho, hum, nobody cares what I think' nor am I insinuating that I don't feel important. What I am saying is that, in the grand scheme of things, if I don't agree with or understand actions or beliefs of other people, it makes absolutely no difference.
It shouldn't.
So, why have I spent the better part of my life thinking it should? Thinking that my opinions of people are somehow the be-all and end-all of their lives?
Throughout my life, I have wasted so much time and energy trying to figure out peoples reasons and motives for doing what they do. Though this isn't bad in itself, it starts to cross the line when I compare their actions and motives to my own perceptions. I get confused, hurt and angry over it. The truth is, I know very little about these people. Only what I see on the outside and maybe a conversation or two's worth of small talk. Even for those I've known better, it doesn't excuse me trying to force my life's perspective on them. It's just idiotic of me to think that I know better than they do.
I've lived most of my life under the impression that I am a good judge of character. It occurred to me that to judge a person's character solely on my misguided opinion that I 'read people really well' is nearing narcissism. Even if, from where I stand, their actions are hurting those close to me, or even hurting me, they may see it a completely different way. I have to allow for others to be human. I can't hold them to a higher standard than I even give myself. I may never understand. I may never see their perspective. I have to accept that, as much as no one will fully understand me because I am the only one who has lived my life and been inside my head, the same goes for them.
I have to let go of all my confusion, hurt and anger. It's doing no one any good - least of all me.
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